Books
Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide:
Reviewed By: Andrew
Location: Winnipeg, MB
Rating: 1 out of 5
Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide is a show about Ned, a middle-grader who offers "tips" to survive school while providing laughable and relatable scenarios to its audience. Unfortunately, this particular guide is one that should be burnt or thrown into a deep chasm immediately upon purchase.
First off, we have our cast of characters.
We have Ned, the protagonist, who, in an attempt to make him relatable to the audience, has a whole host of mini-problems, such as crushes and whatnot. Unfortunately, the writers try (and they do try) to make Ned seem relatable, but it unfortunately falls flat. We garner zero sympathy for the title character.
Second of all is Jennifer, who seems to be a combination of girly girl and fearless tomboy, a hybrid that makes her the only remotely interesting character to watch.
Finally, we have a large supporting cast who exist to flesh out the background of the school. From the weepy bus driver (who drives the bus so fast I'm surprised he hasn't been fired already) to the Eastern-European teacher with a penchant for garage sales that is never unexplained. the supporting cast is unrealistic and not at all a sampling of what you could find in an ordinary middle-grade school.
Continuing with the theme of unrealisticality, the school itself could at least make an effort to appear like an actual school. With no obvious dress or hair codes present (one episode has a boy walking by with a blue mohawk, and Simon has a shirt that says "I'm With Stupid"), the school faculty are either exceptionally lazy or simply don\'t care. As well, the security systems involve lasers and whatnot, and anything like that would not be regularly installed in any school.
Another downfall is episode length. Each episode is actually comprised of two episodes, each 11 minutes in length.11 minutes? Excuse me if I'm wrong, but that is not a sufficient length for any school-set program. The show also suffers from undeveloped plotlines because of this.
For example, one episode involved Ned trying to retrieve an "I love you" note from his crush's locker before she got to read it. A subplot was that Jennifer stole a cute guy's notebook and tried to return it to him on the bus, but she slipped and the notebook flew out of an open window.
The note plot ended with the revelation that, when Ned grabbed what he thought was the note from his crush's locker, it was actually her math homework. (The notebook plot was never resolved.)
BOTH of these plots could have been far more enjoyable if the writers (who, in this case, seem to be cheating and lazy in not resolving the plots) had devoted the rest of the 22 minutes to Ned reaching his crush to give her the homework before she had math class and Jennifer trying to find the cute guy's notebook. But, alas, the writers copped out and left us in suspense as to how both plots were to be resolved.
In conclusion, Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide is one of those books that should be banned from every school library and burnt if it is found within a fifty-mile radius of any library, period.
(Hopefully someone will have the good sense to follow these instructions before this book makes it onto the New York Times' bestseller list. If it does, the world will proceed to end.)
Comments
this is awsome i love it how come this got 1 and all the others got 5?
Posted by: bri911 | May 23, 2007 08:37 PM
Man this movie STINK'S, like the guy or girl or whoever before me said the whole thing makes no sense and is very unrealistic. Like common who the heck has ever heard of a school with laser's? i can tell you who, No one has! Like have the producer or writers even checked over the whole play to see if it makes sence in any way shape or form? Once again i think nobody did. Anybody who looks to follow these guids is looking for a seveer beating and many rude awakanings.
THE END
P.S. CANADA RULES!!!!
Posted by: ben | May 27, 2007 04:12 PM
lets forget the technicalities for a sec, shall we- this programme has achieved what it set out to do- it DOES entertain! and i love it!
Posted by: blah blah | May 29, 2007 01:13 PM
I love the show and the book. It's like "blah blah" before me said, it is to entertain, not to be realistic!! The show is for kids, most of them don't even follow along with plots, time length,etc.
Posted by: Miss Wow-your-harsh-dude | May 31, 2007 07:27 PM
i cant belive that it only 2 cence! stupid raters!
Posted by: julia rae mathieu | June 1, 2007 05:02 PM
Hey, I'm 17 and I've been watching this since it premiered.
I love it, it's extremely entertaining and it's one of the only good shows on Nick. The acting isn't that bad either...
And it fits the short attention span of people under 18.
Posted by: Leda | June 1, 2007 06:37 PM
i am a huge fan thanks for the tips they work
i love the show you should create more new episodes
Posted by: Naomi | June 3, 2007 07:12 AM
Dear Miss Wow-your-harsh-dude,
I acknowledge that it's for kids, but the show takes place at a MIDDLE SCHOOL (6-8, I believe) and thus its audience isn't exactly in diapers. Thus, they are more likely to question things and notice things of lesser quality, such as this programme.
Posted by: Andrew | June 3, 2007 08:26 PM
It may not be realistic but the tips work.
Posted by: Lucia | June 22, 2007 09:16 AM
Kay, now I"M in Middle school, I'm 12, okay? I LOVE this show, it ROCKS out loud!!!!! It's not supposed to b commpletely realilistic, it's supposed to be funny!!!! In the end, its is real with real school survivel tips, that can work.
Maybe school isn't completely like this, but I always wish it was, it makes it so much more exciting.....it takes real problems and exagerates them to make them more funny and interesting. if it WAS realistic, who would want to watch a show about school with no action?
Dress codes, yes, normal schools do have those, but they dont go THAT far. I'm with stupid shirt, I"m sure they'd allow it, as long as it doesn't swear or promote drug use. and since when do normal schools have hair codes? u can have what ever hair u want, there is a kid at my school who has a mohawk, i may have seen 2 kids acutally. so the school codes are fine in this show
I LOVE Gordy, the janitor, he's hilarious!
And so u kno, I'm a 7th grader in HONORS, that means I am in 8th grade math and science, on my final for both of them i got a 100%. I've been watching this show, don't u dare say it's for drooling idiots, its hilarious!!!!!
sorry, thats a little jumbled, i have so many thoughts about this, but no planning, its late, i gotta go to bed, im not gonna plan
Posted by: Madeline | July 2, 2007 11:06 PM
To the guy who says the movie stinks in one comment (#2) You know the tips ACTUALLY WORK! I mean, I know it's un-realistic, but c'mon, people, have you ever even USED these tips?
Posted by: Alec | July 12, 2007 08:58 PM
first of all canada does not rule.
second of all it's television, not everything is going to be realistic. thats why its called fictional, duuuuuh!! and yes i have used a few tips my crush is now my boyfriend, my friends have a better relatioinship, and i have more ideas for my monday blues!!!
Posted by: deedee | July 17, 2007 12:58 PM
you know my school does have hair codes. you cant wear anything distracting or dye your hair an unnatural color. like orange, strawberry red, pink, hot pink, etc., etc.!!!
Posted by: deedee | July 17, 2007 01:03 PM
Really? Wow, people in my school spray paint there hair hot pink, thats weird, your school sounds unfunish, not that any schools are actually fun.
I'm sorry if I bothered you, i didn't know. i'm fro Tonawanda, sometimes when I post reviews I say Buffalo. I guess my school isn't as scrit, except with short shorts, shirts that show a little too much of girls, and shoes with no backs people tried to get around this rule by using rubber bands and elastic on the backs, but they had an annocement that this was not acceptable, adias shoes are okay though, makes no sense to me, but the assitant principal makes these rules, and she creeps me out and bugs me, even though i don't break any of the rules, I wear sneakers and T-shirts, and jeans, I'm not a shorts person.)
Sorry deedee if I offended you, you seem offended 'cause you put exclamation points after you comment.
Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide rules!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: Madeline | July 17, 2007 10:49 PM
I understand where this review is coming from. I have had many accounts of frustration with this when it comes to being realistic, but this show has to be taken with a grain of salt. Of course a weasel would not be allowed in a school just running around until a lazy janitor caught it. Health officials would not allow it. Also, students would not be allowed to make tunnels though the school just because the janitor and said student thought it would help in case of emergency, but this is supposed to be a comedy. If the show was exactly like an average kids day of school then no one would watch it because we alll experience the exact same thing everyday! It makes it interesting when they exaggerate a real-life problem, solve it, and even give us tips for our own problems.
As well, the comment made that there is no dress code depends on whether the James K. Polk Middle School is supposed to have a dress code in the script. Some schools have every student wearing uniforms for safety reasons and to decrease competition among appearance, whereas other schools encourage individuality and want kids to stick out, insead of conforming to the status quo. It all depends on what the writers were depending so you cannot condem them if you do not know what there costume department was told to give the actors and actresses.
Overall, I would have to say this is a funny show that is meant to be just that - funny. Not an exact replica of your everyday life. It is helpful to kids and helps make their days easier with tips and tricks. The show get 5 stars in my books!
Posted by: Michelle | July 31, 2007 12:21 PM
Wow, you must care about this show to as much as give it a single thought, if you come on a website to post about it. In reality, if you didn't like it, chances are you could care less about it to even post anything. I don't enjoy eating tomatoes, but that doesn't mean I'm going to go to the 'International Tomato Farmers' website to explain that making tomatoes is a complete waste of time (this is just an example, so don't take it too seriously). I think the show is great, but I'm not going to pronounce my love to it or kiss the screen when it comes on! Personally, chances are that most of the people on this website don't even know eachother. Why get hyped on a person's opinion on a simple t.v. show that you most likely won't ever meet?
Signed,A FRIEND
Maybe not yours, but someones'
Posted by: --A FRIEND | August 13, 2007 09:54 PM
This show does not have content that would demean someone's religion, race(s), tradition, etc., so why get so intent on describing your hate for it to strangers on the web?
Signed, A FRIEND
Maybe not yours, but that's your loss
Posted by: --A FRIEND | August 13, 2007 09:59 PM
i love the show. every time i see it i pull my notebook out.
Posted by: michael | August 13, 2007 10:40 PM
It was ok. A good hint to expand on you story is to make multiple plots that tie together at the end of the movie. I think you should read it over in a quiet room and let you imagination run crazy. Youve totally got it! I thought it's a GREAT start to a future movie! Keep it up!
Posted by: Pika | August 29, 2007 09:46 PM
canada rulez-anyone who sez diffent,well thats ur own personal problem,but just so you know,this is a canadian site-duh-anyways,i like the halloween neds declassified,it's funny
Posted by: Em | November 4, 2007 07:41 PM
ned is sooooooo cute
Posted by: jess | December 20, 2007 02:43 AM
I've watched this show but i havn't reaad the book......AND I REALLY WANNA READ IT!!!!! Where did you buy this book? ^_^
Posted by: Angela | March 10, 2008 05:41 AM
Hey this show rocks. TV is supposed to be unrealistic. As for burning the book it not going to happen, it gonna be a hot day in the north pole before someone burns neds declsified school survial guide buster.
P.S. sorry if this is harsh but it is ture.
Posted by: Arqam | April 12, 2008 03:23 PM
I LIKE THE COOKIE & NED BIGBY & MOZE AND I WANT TO SEE A REAL NED`S TIPS
Posted by: DZIUGAS | October 3, 2008 11:30 AM
Its only rated 1!!!! That's so wrong. It is such an awesome show. I will never let that book be burned. The show rocks!!! TV ISN'T SUPPOSED TO BE REALISTIC! ITS A FUNNY SHOW. I love to watch it every day.
P.S. Do adults rate these show or something????
Posted by: Koko | July 9, 2009 01:48 PM