ConanOBrien
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Weekend plans. 1. Take lawn chair to Hollywood Boulevard. 2. Yell at tourists who step on Janet Jackson’s star.
Il y a environ 11 heures
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Today is 4/20 and all of the potheads in my office are giggling. I don’t understand.
10:16 AM Apr 20th
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“Glee” is making a special episode dedicated entirely to @. But in a way, isn’t every episode of “Glee” dedicated to Lady Gaga?
11:05 AM Apr 19th
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It’s tough sharing a birthday with Kourtney Kardashian. Our friends never know which party to go to.
5:57 PM Apr 18th
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Andy got me this for my birthday. How do I tell him my mom got me the same thing?
12:38 PM Apr 18th
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Eight more days of Lent, then it’s back to chocolate, bourbon, and Lady Boxing on Pay-Per-View.
12:37 PM Apr 17th
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Doing a benefit tonight to help wipe out malaria, and you can help too @. Gout, you're next.
1:11 PM Apr 16th
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Tom Waits is going to be the voice of an animated character in an upcoming film. The film is called “The Bunny Who Only Ate Fiberglass.”
9:14 AM Apr 15th
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Dennis Quaid said his biggest mistake was cocaine. Or, as Randy Quaid calls it, "mistake #479."
11:41 AM Apr 14th
via Twitter for iPhone
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Hey, @ busted me for having hair envy. Imagine how jealous I'll be if Trump runs.
12:06 PM Apr 13th
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en réponse à MittRomney
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Great, Applebee’s starts serving toddlers alcohol and my kids gave up booze for Lent.
9:08 AM Apr 13th
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Yesterday we had a bald eagle on the show. Oddly enough, he was in the country illegally.
2:18 PM Apr 12th
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I tell people I split my lip in a fight. It's really because I went skiing without my Vanilla Bonne Bell gloss.
12:54 PM Apr 11th
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If Trump runs for the White House, how will he decide between Gary Busey and Meatloaf for Vice President?
12:03 PM Apr 10th
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Do you have any idea how many Americans think that the Ivory Coast conflict is soap-based?
2:49 PM Apr 9th
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If the government shuts down, the IRS will be closed, according to my accountant, Wesley Snipes.
1:18 PM Apr 8th
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A guy cut me off in traffic, and I called him a stupid f***. My kids asked what that meant, and I told them it means he can’t f***ing drive.
2:07 PM Apr 7th
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Due to a tech snafu in Atlanta, my show did not air on the West Coast last night. We will re-air the Led Zeppelin reunion soon.
10:53 AM Apr 6th
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Sorry, Twitter. I'm going to be unfaithful to you tonight. I'm liveblogging tonight's show on Facebook right now:
7:58 PM Apr 5th
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The federal government might shut down on Friday, which means on Saturday morning, this bad boy is gonna park his car in a loading zone.
2:11 PM Apr 5th
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